Dr Keith brings his unique approach to his relationship coaching and what he’s learnt having been married for over 30yrs raised two daughters both of whom have recently been married and living with both his mother and mother in law.
“Long term harmonious relationships are normal, find out what is blocking them becoming a reality in your life”
Dr Keith has found the answer to most relationship issues lie with you and your own bad habits being reflected back at you by your partner.
The health of your body and brain also impact on relationship issues so Dr Keith’s Wholistic approach to relationships can help you identify and correct any health issue you have that are affecting those closest to you.
Dr Keith is the author of 2 books:
- How to live a Positive life -The 5 Keys
- Difficult Customers- No Stress
He brings to his relationship coaching information which is in his books particularly the use of the 4 C’s to relationships.
“All of us can improve our relationship skills.The 4 C’s show you how”.
First C – Learn to clear or release your own negative reactions to whatever behaviour you’re reacting to in your partner.
“ One error often made in relationships is: Communicating how we feel about a comment or behaviour our partner has exhibited whilst we’re still emotionally affected by it. If you do this you’re asking your partner to be bigger than the problem and “be there” for you with understanding. The chance of this happening is so close to zero it is zero. What normal occurs is your negative reaction which is fuelled by a negative belief you hold about yourself will trigger a negative reaction with it’s associated negative behaviour in your partner. So now we have 2 people both wanting the other person to understand or “be there” for them. This always ends in emotional trauma with each person’s negativity reactions slowly or rapidly worsening. Silence withdraw is another way people cope with this”
So what do you do? Clear your negative reaction first and understand yourself. Do this with a counsellor or learn to do this to yourself.
Second C– This is the hardest C to work on. This is using the law of reflection to ask yourself. Where do I have the same negative behaviour acting out in my life. Your partner might get angry- but you have angry thoughts which are suppressed. These can be released and cleared as well. Even your thought affect people close to you.
ThirdC-Connect with the person you’re having the issue with. Think about what you love or like about them. Imagine energy leaving the centre of your chest going across the space between you and connecting with the person.
Fourth C-Communicate: All of us have relationship issues no one is perfect. Some of us just have more issues than others but we all have problems.
Communicate how their behaviour made you feel. If they react emotionally to this communication allow them to do this. Don’t try to defend yourself. Just listen and understand.
If their emotionally reaction triggers a negative reaction in you. This is your problem. Stop the communication. Then go back to the first C again. You’re learning how to create a safe space where your partner can be emotionally but you’re not affected by it. It’s very freeing.
A partner has to free to say anything without it triggering a negative reaction in you.
Many of us have low grade anxiety issues and we’re looking outside ourselves for someone to make us feel more relaxed or better about ourselves. This is always a disaster in relationships. So work on your health issues that underpin anxiety and become happy, calm and positive in yourself.
Dr Keith has a Wholistic approach to his coaching so he’ll look into all aspects of your life and health to solve your relationship issues. Persistence maybe required but harmonious long term relationships are normal.