Dr. Keith’s 3 pronged approach to eliminate bullying is:
1) The School – 5 tips to eliminate bullying from your school.
2) The Parents – 5 tips to parents – we can help.
3) The Child – 5 tips for children.
The School – Dr Keith’s five tips to eliminate bullying from your school
Tip No 1: Stop
Stop accepting that bullying is normal schoolyard behavior – it is not!
Tip No 2: Confront
Confront bullying with firmness but not anger. Both sides of the bullying equation are victims – always separate a person from their behavior. “I respect you but your behavior is unacceptable”.
Any negative behavior, reactions or beliefs belong to our negative personalities (NP’s) not our true selves, and can be cleared, eliminated or reduced.
The negative reactions of yours to look for are:
– I hate / dislike bullying
– I don’t want to be involved
– I don’t like conflict
– I think some people are weak
– I believe some people deserve it
What is your negative reaction to bullying?
Tip No 3: Demonstration
“For children to change their behavior first adults need to change theirs!”
As adults it is our responsibility to demonstrate calm, respectful, tolerant and supportive behavior to each other, look at the subtle or not so subtle bullying that goes on between adults.
– How do we react when we don’t get our way
– Do we use our position or physical size to intimidate
– Do we see one person as superior to another
– How do we react to conflict
– Do we dump our frustration / anger on those around us?
We have to be honest with ourselves huge personal growth and improved relationships are possible if we clear our subtle or otherwise negative personalities (NPS). Our thoughts truly do affect those around us.
Tip No 4: Vibe
Improve the vibe of your school: Clean, Wash, Paint, Plant trees etc.
The beaming vibe of your school affects the attitude and behavior of everyone in it, schools do matter, children matter – show the world that you love your school.
Tip No 5: Food
Tuckshop: The health and vitality of the food we give our children affects their attitude and behavior, the healthier everyone at your school is, the better their attitude and behavior will be.
The Parents- Dr. Keith’s 5 tips to Parents
Tip No 1: We are involved
We are involved: Accept responsibility we can do something that will help our child if he/she is bullied or bullies at school.
Tip No 2: Reflect
Children reflect: children tend to reflect the behavior of the parents – even our subtle behavior is reflected back at us in our children, we can change our negative behavior (NP’s).
“Blaming someone else makes us feel better but rarely changes anything”.
Parents of a bullied child:
We can look at our own negative beliefs that allow the above behaviour:
– I don’t like conflict
– I don’t want to be involved
– I’m not worthy
– I’m weak
– I’m not good enough
– I can’t stand up for myself
– I need protection
– I don’t like anger
– I can’t do anything about it
– I deserve punishment
All the above thoughts belong to our negative personalities, not our true selves and with clearing, their effect on our life , relationships and health can be eliminated.
“We more often sympathise with the bullied, help them eliminate the negative beliefs that allow abuse and change their life forever”.
The abused will often endure it for long periods of time before exploding, but putting down our boundaries with firmness and not anger is always best.
Tip No3: Bullies
If your child bullies at school: The bullier is a victim too, so clear any negative reaction to them, be firm but separate them from their behavior.
As adults we need to look at our own bullying behavior (our own negative behavior is hard to confront and often denied). Beating ourselves up doesn’t help either, it is time to change.
– Where do we take our anger out on those around us
– Use our size to intimidate
– Make ourselves superior
– What do we do to get our own way
– How do we bully our partner etc
Any negative behavior, once acknowledged can be cleared. Our health can also affect our anger, frustration and moodiness so improving health helps.
Tip No 4: Demonstration
How do we treat those around us, particularly when there are problems. Being calm, supportive, respectful, tolerant, and happy is normal. Any negative reaction we have to any situation can be cleared.
“How we react to our children’s behavior has a huge impact on how they will react to others, they watch our demonstration”.
Tip No 5: Health
Health: Look at our health habits – we can work on improving and maintaining our health every day. Your children are watching!
The Child – Dr. Keith’s 5 tips for children
Tip No 1: Not acceptable
Not acceptable: Being bullied or bullying is not a normal or acceptable behavior in children or adults.
“There are no winners in the bully or bullied scenario”
Tip No 2: Responsible
You are responsible, ultimately we are all responsible for our own behavior, start treating others as you wish to be treated.
Tip No 3: The bullied
If you’re being bullied:
Talk to your parents about it. Change those negative beliefs you have about yourself, they are not the real you that allow abuse.
– I’m not strong enough
– I don’t want to be involved
– I don’t like conflict
– I can’t stand up for myself
– I am strong
– I do stand up for myself
– I am involved
– I am good enough etc
– Everyone has a right to exist, take up space and be treated respectfully.
– Defend yourself with equal or a little less force than is being used on you, with firmness but not anger.
– By enduring abuse we are saying it is ok – it is not.
– We can increase physical activity to increase our strength and confidence.
Tip No 4: Bullies
The Bullier: This behavior is not acceptable and can be changed, treat others as we wish to be treated, we can learn strategies that release our anger, frustration and desire to bully, without dumping it on others;
– Write down your negative feelings
– Hit pillows to release anger and frustration
– Yell or scream in a way that no one can hear you
– Talk to your parents about the problem
– You are not a bully, you have bullying behavior
– Being supportive, happy, calm, respective and having fun are normal.
Tip No 5: Health
Health: Ask your parents to improve the quality of the food you eat. Less sugar, food additives, processed food, sweets, etc. will improve the health of your body and brain,which make you less cranky, irritable and frustrated.
Bullying: let it become a thing of the past.